When Will He Fucking Die?

It’s March, and we’re in Hell, we entered Hell, when? The only way to characterize what’s been happening – what That Asstool is doing to the American government and whatever hefty slice of American society actually depend upon or interact with it – is as a literal descent into a criminal abyss, of a heretofore unseen scale. We’re beyond – beyond being appalled by That Asstool being simply the most rampagingly shitty human being to ever hold high office in this country, beyond wondering how exactly the vast structure of laws and courts in this country could be so easily treated like toilet paper, beyond considering how deeply pernicious a single public figure could be, even in his own head.

What’s unarguable is that the last year or so has been nothing but a litany of public and proudly flaunted criminal acts, from granting himself billions of federal tax dollars through a series of bullshit fronts and scams and maneuvers, to using federal military force to oppress, bomb and kill Venezuelans, Cubans, Minnesotans, and now Iranians. The corpses are piling up. (“Surgical” is what the wannabe-action-hero Sec of War called the first strike on Iran, 3/1, which killed like 70 school girls. In a real country, just the use of that word would get him removed from adult company for the rest of his life.)

Relatively, blackmailing media companies, law firms and universities into essentially paying That Asstool off, over and over again, millions upon millions, is almost forgettable. Trying to bury the Epstein mishigas is actually something you can imagine some other, lesser shithead doing. Breaking Constitutional rules five times a week, knowing the SCOTUS will shrug it off – please. But add it up and all told, the pile of dung That Asstool accumulated in the last 14 months is unprecedented. In that time, he has literally been doing nothing else except wholesale evil shit. You can imagine a White House meeting in which someone suggests doing something, anything, non-destructive or unlarcenous, and getting a big laugh for it.

What else? What could be next? Will he start eating live babies on TV? Could be worse – unlike certain African kleptocrats, he hasn’t taken to filling mass graves with his political enemies yet. Unlike Putin, he hasn’t yet launched a campaign of assassinating journalists or dropping radium in their coffee. But it’s early. We’ve got the dictator-toggle ruination of the November midterms to look forward to. Never in America have so many wished so hard for the today-not-tomorrow death of a single douchebag.

Everything I’ve heard from the remaining “base” troglodytes and the tiny loudmouthed army of tapeworm suckers attached to the man’s rectal tissue (an unsightly cabal of white-supreme podcasters, malevolent lawyers, neanderthal wife-beaters and Christian pedophiles) speaks to the simple and oft-repeated (by me) fact that Americans have been systematically undereducated over the last 60 or 70 years, so that now the intellectual and context-grasping capabilities, much less the ability to retain basic information, for the average American adult is on par with farm goats. They are, certainly, too stupid to understand how stupid they in fact are. Given that rock-bottom fact – and we can be sure it’s a fact That Asstool knows all too well, he’s been betting on it from the start – we probably should’ve foreseen that we’d end up here sooner or later. The Bush II era should’ve been a big clue. But no – America doesn’t care. America can’t care – it’s too fucking dumb. America just watches with featherbrained bemusement as the shitcans and billionaire pigs rape their bank accounts and salaries – it’s all tax dollars, after all – and kill their neighbors and sons, and then they pick their noses and turn on the TV and wait for someone to tell them it’s time to change their underwear. America just bends over. Thank you sir, may I have another.